Yodamania
by TheminiOne
Summary: just a bunch of little stories about Yoda and how he's so short.I know how he feels!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters except ' random alien ' 

Leia: Hey ,look at that lightsaber floating around

Luke: Oh, that's just Yoda.

Leia: Yoda is a lightsaber!

Luke: No! Its just he's so small we can't see him otherwise.

Luke: You killed my father

Yoda: No, Luke – I am your father!

Luke: A little short green dude is my father? Aaaaaah! NOOOOOOOOOO – wait. Isn't Darth Vader supposed to say that?

Yoda: Uuuuhh-

Random alien: Hey look at that speeder. It's driving by itself!

Yoda: Hee Hee

Luke (looking around): Where the hell is Yoda? I heard him a minute ago.

Yoda: stabs Luke's foot with lightsaber

Luke: Aaaaaah! Help! A deadly Tatooine poison sand scorpion! Mummy!

(runs away screaming)

Yoda: Hee Hee

Mace Windu: Are all the members of the Council present?

Members: Yes

Mace Windu: Then let's – wait, is Yoda here? (spots lightsaber bobbing around) Oh, there you are Yoda. Right, let's begin.


	2. Yoda's day out

Disclaimer: ol Janx spirit – Douglas Adams. Yoda – George Lucas.

Yoda strode into the seedy bar in downtown Coruscant.

'Large glass of Ol' Janx Spirit' he demanded loudly. The bartender glanced over Yoda's head before dismissing the voice as a figment of his imagination.

Yoda jumped up and down in an attempt to catch the bartender's attention. Alas he was too short and the bartender didn't notice.

So Yoda whipped out his lightsaber and slashed off his head

The End


	3. Damn elevators

Disclaimer: fine, fine. Yoda's not mine. ooooh that rhymes.

Yoda zoomed into the parking lot in his speeder. "Damm" he muttered. He was late for his appearance before the Jedi Council. He leapt out of his speeder, smoothed down his robes and hurried to the multi-storey building which housed the meeting place of the Jedi Order. He jogged in the door and ran to the elevator.

He reached up to press the button for the top floor but he had forgotton to change into his high shoes and he couldn't reach. He jumped up but he was just too short to hit the little silver button. " Damn, blast it " he shrieked dancing up and down in rage. " Stupid damn elevator ".He pulled out his lightsaber and slashed the elevator's control panel. Then he stuck the glowing blade into several random parts of the wall.

Finally he sat down breathing hard and still muttering to himself about the elevator. A droid rolled up. "Is there a problem , Master Yoda?" it said in smooth mechanical tones. Yoda's scream of rage echoed around and around the entrance hall. His lightsaber flashed and the droid collapsed in a smoking mess at his feet.

The End


	4. Dark encounter

Disclaimer: I only own Darth Jake(villain) and Princess Ardana(brave and resourceful heroine)

Darth Jake stood, tall and menacing in his long black cloak. He held his glowing red lightsaber up to the beautiful Princess Ardana's neck. He spoke in a grating metallic voice. "Once I kill you, the resistance will collapse and the galaxy will be mine.MWAH HA HA HA!" He lifted his lightsaber over his head in preparation for the killing blow.

"Stop" a voice rang out. Yoda stood before him, lightsaber in his hands. "Stop evil Dark Lord or kill you I will"The Dark Lord stared at the diminutive figure in front of him then threw back his head and laughed."AHA HA HA HA HA HA! Yoda glared as the fearsome Darth Jake collapsed and rolled around on the ground howling in mirth.

Finally he sat up gasping for breath. "You, stop me?"he spluttered. "You're so - aha ha ha ha - SHORT! Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha" He wriggled around helpless with laughter. Yoda glared at him then shouted "Short you must not call me." He marched over to the helpless Dark Lord and stabbed downwards with his lightsaber. The terrifying Darth Jake stiffened and died still giggling quietly to himself. "Damn Dark Lords" grunted Yoda.

The End


	5. Oafy wan

Disclaimer: Not mine. sigh

Obi wan returned to his ship tired out after a long day killing Tusken Raiders. He collapsed wearily into a seat looking around for Yoda. Alas, Yoda had sat in the same seat a couple of moments before.

"Omi mfmh gug um ee" (_Obi Wan, you're sitting on me_)  
"Hmmmm" said Obi Wan."I sense a disturbance in the force. I wonder where Yoda is"  
"Mmf um mfmh ugf fgf mf mmm" ( _disturbance in the force I'll give you, you insufferable toad_ )

Obi Wan gazed around. "What is that noise?" he muttered. Then he leaped up screaming in pain as a lightsaber singed through his robes. Yoda stood up, purple with fury, waving his lightsaber over his head. "Damn blasted idiot you are, Obi Wan"

The End

I hear you asking why Yoda was on the ship and how Yoda got out his lightsaber if Obi Wan was sitting on him but those things are not the point of this story so shut up and review.

There will be more when I have time :)


	6. Damn people who made my robes

Disclaimer: I dont own Yoda

Yoda ran forward to meet the Sith, pulling out his lightsaber as he ran. "Yeaaaah"he screamed waving his lightsaber over his head. He could feel the Force surrounding him, flowing in his veins. The wind streamed through his hair and his lightsaber hummed. Dust swirled around his feet as he charged forward to wreak vengeance on the evil Sith.  
Suddenly his long Jedi robes got tangled in his feet and he tripped, rolling over and over until he came to an embarrassing stop at the Sith's feet. He gave a little sob of annoyance as he lay sprawled awkwardly on the ground. The Sith blinked and walked slowly away.

The End


	7. Romance!

disclaimer: alright ,alright I give in. I don't own Yoda

Yoda gazed deeply into her deep blue eyes. A wisp of smooth blonde hair fell forward across her forehead and her lips glistened invitingly. The sounds of the noisy bar faded away and he could feel his blood pounding in his ears. His whole body tingled with desire.  
He leaned forward and so did she, her eyelids drooping down, shading her eyes with their curling blue lashes.Yoda stretched forward as far as he could. Her lips had almost touched his when he felt himself sliding forward off his stool. Then he toppled forward and fell awkwardly across her beautiful legs.  
He slid off and grinned up at her but she had already turned away.

The End


End file.
